I've been trying to blog for the past few weeks but every time I sat down to type a catastrophe would take place. I figure midnight is a better time than any. I have some updates from my last blog...
- Bern is working back in town now :) He got his old job back. He was working over 80 hours a week in Lafayette (3ish hours away) and wasn't able to come home as often as they had promised. I was basically going crazy. I have horrible anxiety & being alone just makes it worse, especially knowing sometimes I would be alone for two weeks at a time. But since Bern has been back they have been working nights. Usually I would be miserable (HATE sleeping alone in my big bed), but since I know what it is like to not have him here for two weeks, I'm grateful!
- No more gluten free diet. That stuff is for the birds!! I really don't see what people get out of it. It didn't make me feel better. I was actually super tired. Did not help my mood. I didn't have many choices since I live in an area that has no health food stores. You'd figure one of the top five states for obesity would have a fresh market or whole foods....just sayin. I really did try for about 3 weeks. It DID improve my complexion. But I've been eating healthy & getting the same results. All in all, I think it is hollywood hype unless you truly have celiacs disease.
However, I did find a miracle for my PMDD & anxiety in a herbal pill form....5-HTP. It has truly changed my quality of life. I take 100mg every morning. I haven't been nearly as OCD or stressed out about small things. It is amazing. Truth is I have a lot to compare it to & I figured I'd share my story in hopes that this may help someone else who is dealing with anxiety...
At 17 I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I lost about 10 lbs in one week and my parents had about every test ran on my from a colonoscopy to endoscopy, blood test, you name it. The best the doctors came up with was acid reflux & I had GAD which was causing me to lose weight. My doctor prescribed me aprazolam & I took it up until I found out I was pregnant with Amber. When I was pregnant I never had one panic or anxiety attack which led my last doctor to believe it was because I had premenstrual dysphoric disorder (pregnancy=no mentral cycle= no PMDD). Anyways, after Amber was born and we found out she had a congenital heart defect (TOF) I dove into constant panic worry. My body just did not know how to deal with it because I was use to taking a pill at the first sign of anxiety. I would keep my hand on Amber's chest as she slept. I was sleep deprived not because Amber didn't sleep..she slept all the time for a newborn (it was like her body was running a marathon all day) but because I was an emotional mess. I ended up having to go back to the doctor & getting more medicine to hold myself together. I still didn't stop my worrying until after Amber had her heart surgery at 3 months old. I never planned on returning back to any kind of medicine after Amber was born because I figure the pregnancy cured me, but I was thrown a curve ball when she was born sickly & my body didn't know how to deal with it. It was later, probably when Amber was 2, that I found out I had PMDD, so it was now anti-depressants plus Valium. I gave up on the anti depressants because they gave me tremors & made me foggy.
Before we started to try for another baby I stopped taking all the medicine, I knew I wouldn't need it if I did get pregnant. And I haven't touched them since. After I stopped nursing Danny at six months old, I started getting PMDD symptoms (pain, panic attacks, insomnia) and remembered reading about 5-HTP. I figured I would give it a try, $10 at walmart...really couldn't hurt anything.
I can not described how relaxed & calm I feel after a month. I sleep better at night. No more restless legs. It suppresses my appetite, which is a nice bonus ;). Only side effect is sometimes I get a headache or sleepy but in comparison to prescriptions I'll take it. I've also given up caffeine because it exacerbates my anxiety.I wish doctors took a more natural approach to things because this could have saved me from a potential addiction I didn't know I was getting myself into. I know it may sound like I am a basket case but I'm really one of those suffers-in-silence types so honestly wouldn't know I was nuts by looking at me... atleast I would like to think so :).
Wow, I really was going to take this in a totally different direction like my family tree on ancestry.com which has made me completely obsessed with genealogy but I'll save that for next time.
Lots of Love!
<3
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
miley cyrus is doing it...
I'm probably the worlds worst blogger. Maybe this is just a monthly thing for me. But in the time span which I haven't been blogging, a lot has changed.
For starters, Bern has taken a job as a milling machine foreman in Lafayette, LA which is about 2 1/2 hours from where we live. It's a better job, better pay, better opportunity, CRAPPY HOURS. Pretty much it has just been me, myself, and I holding down the fort. I was worried about Amber because she is a daddy's girl but she has been doing good. This change is really hard for me for a few reasons....I have to do everything myself (boo hoo I know) but I was use to getting atleast a few minutes of leisure when Bern got home from work (hence why I haven't been blogging). I do not want to move again...in the past two years we've probably moved about 4 times for various reasons and it does get really confusing for Amber. She involved in things around here too. Also as many of my friends know, I suffer from general anxiety disorder. I can blog a whole blog about that alone but I'll get into that deep & juicy stuff later. I try to manage it myself without medication, so it is hard for Bern to be away. I honestly can't imagine what military wives have to go through, tons of respect for those women!
So what would Ami do when things get crazy? Add to the craziness by starting a gluten free diet. Why? Because Miley Cyrus is doing it.
JUST KIDDING.
Seriously, it is a diet I've been wanting to try for a long time. I've always had stomach issues, skin issues, headaches, and anxiety. I've read tons of research about how a gluten free diet can help issues such as IBS, acne..etc. Yes, weight loss would be an added bonus but at this point I'm willing to try anything to help my anxiety which doesn't involve pills. If you don't know what gluten is, it basically is a protein found in wheat & grains. People usually follow this diet because they have celiacs disease but now it is the latest trend in hollywood for its said health benefits.
So how has this diet been going??? I've only been gluten free for almost two weeks. I can't say I feel any better anxiety wise but I've hear it takes a month for wheat to completely leave your system. It really does limit the amount of processed foods you eat which is why I think people feel better. My skin is much clearer, yay for that. I started out weighing 130lbs, and I don't own a scale so that statement is pointless. I plan on getting one so I'll keep ya posted on that.
I'm going to give this diet a month to see if I have more of an improvement. It is really not hard to follow. More fresh foods, less carbs and processed foods. I made gluten free brownies and cookies and Amber literally ran around the house saying "THESE ARE THE BEST COOKIES EVER MAMA". I can still eat g-free and get my better crocker on. It has jacked up the grocery bill though :-x....yay for bern's new job!
Aside from all the "changes", I've been getting use to the slow pace of the town. It helps calm my nerves knowing that I don't have to rush anywhere (theres nowhere to go any ways). Somtimes I have a hard time getting things done around the house because I have this....
....Staring me in the face. How can I not stop whatever I am doing & play with him!? Sometimes I look around and realize I have a half folded basket of laundry because I've been suckered mid-fold. Luckily Amber is at school until 2 or I'd have no time.
I've been reading my bible, focusing in on my faith. I've learn if I ask the Lord for help and understanding He will see me through. Especially when I need help with overwhelming anxiety & understanding when I'm bitter with Bern about working away & feeling like a single parent. The pastor at service a few Sundays ago said something that meant a lot to me... he said this hypothetical..
If the Lord never did one thing again in my life, He would have already done enough.
I know the Lord is always present, but it is true. He has had His hand over me, watching over my family & my children even when I wasn't following on the right path. Because His love is unconditional and He has been with me even if I didn't notice. He loved us so much he sent His Son to give us life. :) I'm so thankful.
I'm going to end on that note ;)
Until next time, and I will get that scale lol
For starters, Bern has taken a job as a milling machine foreman in Lafayette, LA which is about 2 1/2 hours from where we live. It's a better job, better pay, better opportunity, CRAPPY HOURS. Pretty much it has just been me, myself, and I holding down the fort. I was worried about Amber because she is a daddy's girl but she has been doing good. This change is really hard for me for a few reasons....I have to do everything myself (boo hoo I know) but I was use to getting atleast a few minutes of leisure when Bern got home from work (hence why I haven't been blogging). I do not want to move again...in the past two years we've probably moved about 4 times for various reasons and it does get really confusing for Amber. She involved in things around here too. Also as many of my friends know, I suffer from general anxiety disorder. I can blog a whole blog about that alone but I'll get into that deep & juicy stuff later. I try to manage it myself without medication, so it is hard for Bern to be away. I honestly can't imagine what military wives have to go through, tons of respect for those women!
So what would Ami do when things get crazy? Add to the craziness by starting a gluten free diet. Why? Because Miley Cyrus is doing it.
JUST KIDDING.
Seriously, it is a diet I've been wanting to try for a long time. I've always had stomach issues, skin issues, headaches, and anxiety. I've read tons of research about how a gluten free diet can help issues such as IBS, acne..etc. Yes, weight loss would be an added bonus but at this point I'm willing to try anything to help my anxiety which doesn't involve pills. If you don't know what gluten is, it basically is a protein found in wheat & grains. People usually follow this diet because they have celiacs disease but now it is the latest trend in hollywood for its said health benefits.
So how has this diet been going??? I've only been gluten free for almost two weeks. I can't say I feel any better anxiety wise but I've hear it takes a month for wheat to completely leave your system. It really does limit the amount of processed foods you eat which is why I think people feel better. My skin is much clearer, yay for that. I started out weighing 130lbs, and I don't own a scale so that statement is pointless. I plan on getting one so I'll keep ya posted on that.
I'm going to give this diet a month to see if I have more of an improvement. It is really not hard to follow. More fresh foods, less carbs and processed foods. I made gluten free brownies and cookies and Amber literally ran around the house saying "THESE ARE THE BEST COOKIES EVER MAMA". I can still eat g-free and get my better crocker on. It has jacked up the grocery bill though :-x....yay for bern's new job!
Aside from all the "changes", I've been getting use to the slow pace of the town. It helps calm my nerves knowing that I don't have to rush anywhere (theres nowhere to go any ways). Somtimes I have a hard time getting things done around the house because I have this....
I've been reading my bible, focusing in on my faith. I've learn if I ask the Lord for help and understanding He will see me through. Especially when I need help with overwhelming anxiety & understanding when I'm bitter with Bern about working away & feeling like a single parent. The pastor at service a few Sundays ago said something that meant a lot to me... he said this hypothetical..
If the Lord never did one thing again in my life, He would have already done enough.
I know the Lord is always present, but it is true. He has had His hand over me, watching over my family & my children even when I wasn't following on the right path. Because His love is unconditional and He has been with me even if I didn't notice. He loved us so much he sent His Son to give us life. :) I'm so thankful.
I'm going to end on that note ;)
Until next time, and I will get that scale lol
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A long way from home..
Let me first start off by saying that I feel awkward talking about myself. There is something livejournalesque about the whole blogging thing that makes me feel like I'm going to look back on this and think "wow ami you're an idiot." But I find that through out the day I experience things that others may get a kick out of so why not? I might sound stupid while sharing these things & my grammar is probably (well is) terrible. I guess what I am saying is bare with me here..
If you are reading this thing Welcome to my blog :)
Unless you know me you probably won't get the just of things so let me break it down simply for you. I was born in Louisiana, but pretty much grew up in South Florida since I was three. I always felt like I was a Louisiana girl at heart. My parents raised my brother & I on cajun food and the love of LSU & Saints football, EVEN when they were horrible. We occasionally visited my relatives in Louisiana throughout my childhood and my sisters in Mississippi. Basically I am no stranger to the area, or so I thought.
I am now 24 with two children Amber, 4, and Danny, 5 months. And in 2010 my small family of then 3 moved to Slidell,LA which is about 30 minutes away from New Orleans. Now you might be thinking, Slidell is not a small town. True, but we didn't stay there long before we ended up on the other side of the Louisiana state line in Picayune, MS due to my husband(Bern) switching jobs.
Let me just say a thousand chilli cook offs could not prepare me for this transition, just sayin. I am not saying this in a bad way, or downing the mississipian way of life by any means. But it is different and a huge adjustment for me. Moving from a pretty much liberal state to the bible belt of America is a huge culture shock & would be if it was the opposite way around. I suppose calling this the boonies is a little dramatic, it is a small town. There is no major chain resturants, although I've come to prefer & love the homecooking of small diners. The closest mall is 30 minutes away but I probably wouldn't consider it much a mall. From my home I can here the church bells every hour on the hour, the noise of football games of the local highschool which ironically the team is called the Tide with the same colors of Alabama ::sigh::, and my favorite sound of all (especially when I get the baby down for his nap) the train!! But seriously the sounds do make me feel part of a community. One thing I do enjoy is the good ol' southern hospitality. You wave at people when they drive by, you say "yes mam" and "yes sir" ( mind yo manners or you'll get corrected), people have an amazing willingness to help complete strangers, and more times than not the cashier will tell me her life story.
With all good things you must take the bad that comes along with it which means random people grabbing and touching my baby at walmart. Sorry but kindness does not cancel out my germaphobia.
From this move I've had to make some sacrifices like quitting college for the time being which I have bitter days about considering I am 3 classes away from my AA, (did you hear the bitterness come through there??). My husband has had to make sacrifices do, but in the long run I think the risk comes with reward. Although it is an adjustment I am working on it. I still am very homesick. As of right now I am a stay at home mom, I got a job at a preschool as a 4 year old teacher which I won't start training for until the end of April. I suppose this blog- or I atleast hope this blog will be a coping tool for my homesickness & ofcourse stories about my daily life and the nonsense of ear infections, no mommy blog would be complete without those. Regardless if this is a fail, Bern won't have to complain that I'm not using the computer he bought me ;)
My loves, Amber & Danny!
If you are reading this thing Welcome to my blog :)
Unless you know me you probably won't get the just of things so let me break it down simply for you. I was born in Louisiana, but pretty much grew up in South Florida since I was three. I always felt like I was a Louisiana girl at heart. My parents raised my brother & I on cajun food and the love of LSU & Saints football, EVEN when they were horrible. We occasionally visited my relatives in Louisiana throughout my childhood and my sisters in Mississippi. Basically I am no stranger to the area, or so I thought.
I am now 24 with two children Amber, 4, and Danny, 5 months. And in 2010 my small family of then 3 moved to Slidell,LA which is about 30 minutes away from New Orleans. Now you might be thinking, Slidell is not a small town. True, but we didn't stay there long before we ended up on the other side of the Louisiana state line in Picayune, MS due to my husband(Bern) switching jobs.
Let me just say a thousand chilli cook offs could not prepare me for this transition, just sayin. I am not saying this in a bad way, or downing the mississipian way of life by any means. But it is different and a huge adjustment for me. Moving from a pretty much liberal state to the bible belt of America is a huge culture shock & would be if it was the opposite way around. I suppose calling this the boonies is a little dramatic, it is a small town. There is no major chain resturants, although I've come to prefer & love the homecooking of small diners. The closest mall is 30 minutes away but I probably wouldn't consider it much a mall. From my home I can here the church bells every hour on the hour, the noise of football games of the local highschool which ironically the team is called the Tide with the same colors of Alabama ::sigh::, and my favorite sound of all (especially when I get the baby down for his nap) the train!! But seriously the sounds do make me feel part of a community. One thing I do enjoy is the good ol' southern hospitality. You wave at people when they drive by, you say "yes mam" and "yes sir" ( mind yo manners or you'll get corrected), people have an amazing willingness to help complete strangers, and more times than not the cashier will tell me her life story.
With all good things you must take the bad that comes along with it which means random people grabbing and touching my baby at walmart. Sorry but kindness does not cancel out my germaphobia.
From this move I've had to make some sacrifices like quitting college for the time being which I have bitter days about considering I am 3 classes away from my AA, (did you hear the bitterness come through there??). My husband has had to make sacrifices do, but in the long run I think the risk comes with reward. Although it is an adjustment I am working on it. I still am very homesick. As of right now I am a stay at home mom, I got a job at a preschool as a 4 year old teacher which I won't start training for until the end of April. I suppose this blog- or I atleast hope this blog will be a coping tool for my homesickness & ofcourse stories about my daily life and the nonsense of ear infections, no mommy blog would be complete without those. Regardless if this is a fail, Bern won't have to complain that I'm not using the computer he bought me ;)
My loves, Amber & Danny!
Once I get a more recent picture of myself I'll post it, wouldn't want to leave you with a false first impression! ;)
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