I've been trying to blog for the past few weeks but every time I sat down to type a catastrophe would take place. I figure midnight is a better time than any. I have some updates from my last blog...
- Bern is working back in town now :) He got his old job back. He was working over 80 hours a week in Lafayette (3ish hours away) and wasn't able to come home as often as they had promised. I was basically going crazy. I have horrible anxiety & being alone just makes it worse, especially knowing sometimes I would be alone for two weeks at a time. But since Bern has been back they have been working nights. Usually I would be miserable (HATE sleeping alone in my big bed), but since I know what it is like to not have him here for two weeks, I'm grateful!
- No more gluten free diet. That stuff is for the birds!! I really don't see what people get out of it. It didn't make me feel better. I was actually super tired. Did not help my mood. I didn't have many choices since I live in an area that has no health food stores. You'd figure one of the top five states for obesity would have a fresh market or whole foods....just sayin. I really did try for about 3 weeks. It DID improve my complexion. But I've been eating healthy & getting the same results. All in all, I think it is hollywood hype unless you truly have celiacs disease.
However, I did find a miracle for my PMDD & anxiety in a herbal pill form....5-HTP. It has truly changed my quality of life. I take 100mg every morning. I haven't been nearly as OCD or stressed out about small things. It is amazing. Truth is I have a lot to compare it to & I figured I'd share my story in hopes that this may help someone else who is dealing with anxiety...
At 17 I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I lost about 10 lbs in one week and my parents had about every test ran on my from a colonoscopy to endoscopy, blood test, you name it. The best the doctors came up with was acid reflux & I had GAD which was causing me to lose weight. My doctor prescribed me aprazolam & I took it up until I found out I was pregnant with Amber. When I was pregnant I never had one panic or anxiety attack which led my last doctor to believe it was because I had premenstrual dysphoric disorder (pregnancy=no mentral cycle= no PMDD). Anyways, after Amber was born and we found out she had a congenital heart defect (TOF) I dove into constant panic worry. My body just did not know how to deal with it because I was use to taking a pill at the first sign of anxiety. I would keep my hand on Amber's chest as she slept. I was sleep deprived not because Amber didn't sleep..she slept all the time for a newborn (it was like her body was running a marathon all day) but because I was an emotional mess. I ended up having to go back to the doctor & getting more medicine to hold myself together. I still didn't stop my worrying until after Amber had her heart surgery at 3 months old. I never planned on returning back to any kind of medicine after Amber was born because I figure the pregnancy cured me, but I was thrown a curve ball when she was born sickly & my body didn't know how to deal with it. It was later, probably when Amber was 2, that I found out I had PMDD, so it was now anti-depressants plus Valium. I gave up on the anti depressants because they gave me tremors & made me foggy.
Before we started to try for another baby I stopped taking all the medicine, I knew I wouldn't need it if I did get pregnant. And I haven't touched them since. After I stopped nursing Danny at six months old, I started getting PMDD symptoms (pain, panic attacks, insomnia) and remembered reading about 5-HTP. I figured I would give it a try, $10 at walmart...really couldn't hurt anything.
I can not described how relaxed & calm I feel after a month. I sleep better at night. No more restless legs. It suppresses my appetite, which is a nice bonus ;). Only side effect is sometimes I get a headache or sleepy but in comparison to prescriptions I'll take it. I've also given up caffeine because it exacerbates my anxiety.I wish doctors took a more natural approach to things because this could have saved me from a potential addiction I didn't know I was getting myself into. I know it may sound like I am a basket case but I'm really one of those suffers-in-silence types so honestly wouldn't know I was nuts by looking at me... atleast I would like to think so :).
Wow, I really was going to take this in a totally different direction like my family tree on ancestry.com which has made me completely obsessed with genealogy but I'll save that for next time.
Lots of Love!
<3
